you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
