I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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