Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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