she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
