I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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