And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
