I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
