the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
