2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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