Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
