i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
