I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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