All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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