What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
