The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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