Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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