Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
