Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
