you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize