That's intense
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
