I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
