shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
