Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
