***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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