I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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