So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
