Screwed.edu
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
