around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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