My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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