I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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