their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
