The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
