I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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