btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Randomize