True but thats because hes a fetus.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
