that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
