Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just pee around me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
