Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
