This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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