She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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