Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
