what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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