Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
