god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
