Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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