Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
