if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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