I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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