What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
