Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
