ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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