I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
