Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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