got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
