So drunk its hurt
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize