clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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