Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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