dude i'm inner monologue high
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
