my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
