if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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