chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
