I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just had sex on a roof
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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