I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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