Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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