Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
