Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
