Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
