Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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