Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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