How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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