Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
