OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
