there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
