Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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